Looking...

I find myself looking,

waiting for the break.

I find myself staring

hating what it takes.

I find myself longing

for the man across the lawn.

I find myself wronging

making everything undone.

How does it happen?

Feelings being sprung

from feelings not yet undone?

Listening to that voice

Seeing that smile

Holding my breath

As he drives me wild?

I find myself wanting it to end

so he can find his own peace

Instead of fulfilling mine.

I find myself hoping it will stop

just so he can lives his life

and I can go on with mine.

But instead,

I find myself watching

and longing, and waiting

for a chance, a ray of hope

to never, ever, 

maybe, possibly

come.