Feelings

These feelings overwhelm me

and I cannot sort through the turmoil

to distinguish the overpowering sensation of leaving

from these muddled emotions that hide my pain

in the veil of a thousand different thoughts 

which blaze through my mind like a wildfire

tearing me apart from the inside.

The tears boil beneath the surface

heated by the flames of anger

even as I'm cooled by relief

and dripping anxiety

over the waterfall of excitement

even as I weep the sorrow

that hacks away at my joy

and dismisses my fear

of the unknown yet to face me.

I anticipate the future

I remember the past

but I cannot feel the present

Because these feelings confuse

and confound and block out

everything that there is to know now.

It's hard to think straight

when everything is being swept from underneath

And no one cares to put it back or hold it down

as the wind picks up and the summer fades

to those lonely autumn nights when no one dances

by the moonlight and no one holds me close til the daylight comes.

I want to break down and cry

But these feelings get in the way.