Prologue
“This is Elizabeth Renée reporting live from
“Last night, the heart of a young boy was found in the garbage receptacle you see behind me here on the corner of Broadway and
“Police have yet to release any more information concerning the extraordinary circumstances of this startling discovery. They have, however, released that the heart belonged to a young male between the ages of 16 and 20. These findings were based on preliminary tests performed on the heart upon its discovery.
“The heartless individual has also yet to be found. However, scientists hope to discover the owner of this missing organ through a series of extensive experiments.
“Leading psychologist Francis Netal signed on as the project head early this morning and is expected to arrive in
“Mayor Chandler Kinsman – who usually refuses to comment on such issues as this – announced in an unscheduled press conference this morning that this case should be top priority.
“‘The city that never sleeps now has a reason for its insomnia,’ he said. ‘None shall know rest until this case is solved. No heart will be safe while this terrible foe still lurks on our streets – whatever this terror may be.’
“In response, the New York Police Department has blocked off all traffic from entering a five-block radius of the crime scene so that the NYPD can perform a thorough search for evidence.
“Much to the chagrin of thespians and theatre-goers alike, several Broadway shows have been put on hiatus until the scene has been cleared. Spring Awakening, The Little Mermaid, The Grey Gardens, Avenue Q, and Wicked have all issued rain checks due to the current situation. Avenue Q, currently in its last season, is discussing a series of encore performances to make up for the time lost during the course of the investigation.
“To quell the already-loud murmurs of a theatrical strike such as that of late 2007, Mayor Kinsman has agreed to reimburse the theatres for the loss of performances this investigation incurs.
“Kinsman’s uncharacteristic charitable actions concerning what one
“Opposition claims that Kinsman’s charity in the wake of this horrendous travesty might very well be a ploy to win votes in the impending elections.
“However, some also offer that this could finally be the soft spot of the Brick-Wall Mayor’s stone heart.
“For either case, more information will surely arise as this investigation continues.
“As for the unfortunate boy whose heart was stolen, we offer our sincerest sympathy for the family and friends of this tragedy’s victim – whoever he may be.
“We will continue to keep you, the viewers, well informed on this horrible crime as the day and investigation progress.
“Until then, keep your loved ones close and lock your hearts away in a safe place. Make but one key and be cautious to whom you grant it.
“Live from
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