Just Fuck It

They sit at their table
with cigarette aglow
in the hands of one
too young to even know
how to ignite the flame
of passion that should burn
even into the darkest nights
of a relationship that's meant
to last into the end of time and beyond.

I laugh and pretend to care
about the one with the fag
as I long for the one with
the one with the fag.

Just fuck it, alright?
I scream inside
as they walk into the night:
another couple
I long to belong in
but find myself the third wheel.

Just fuck it,
I scream and look downtrodden
As I'm pushed out the door
And asked is everything alright.

Of course it is, just fuck it.

I wish I could see them,
the faces the make
As I walk away
down the cold lonely street
and pause to meet and greet
A slut and a girl I barely know
but somehow reads me quite fluently
as I look at him and smile
realizing he realized I existed.

Me.
Existing.
Just fuck it.

I walk away again
Walk away from him
Walk away from the hordes of hims
The unavailable, gay men.

Just fuck it.