Remembering You Amounts to Nothing (RYAN)

What we had is spent
in the aisles of black roses
that lines the garden of our Eden
behind the picket row fence of our home
in the depths of Suburbia in which we fed a hunger,
a desire so deep for one another that the world wept
as we rose to the occasion and blacked out all else but
your body and mine as our worlds intertwined into one single
being.

What I need is broken
and tattered and torn in the sheets
of that sweet dream I recollect in times
when I need you the least but also miss you
the most I have ever missed and ever wanted before:
these times when I shouldn't to save you from the wake
of a terrible blade of sorrow and dispair that will blacken
your amber skies as I say my sorrowful goodbyes and head into
the future and away from you who I hold so dear to me now and
forever.

What I want is you
back in my safe and loving arms
that lie cold and frozen without you
and yearn for the warmth of your body
as our lips touch and our cheeks blush a scarlet
so deep that the blood from one razor blade or fourteen
that cut through my heart and yours could never even hope
to compare because that blush is so deep and that hurt even
more that I could never dare dream you could come back to me
because who am I but this poor excuse for a man who left you
alone.

All I wanted was
to stay with you
and hold you
forever
but never could
abandon the dreams
I have or will have
to sacrifice for another
the life I choose to live
and the dreams I dare to give
to none but myself and my own being
even if it means being all alone forever.

But somehow in my sleep
you always come back to remind me:
All I want right now
is you.
All I need is everything
but you.
All my world screams I
miss you.
And in my every dream I
love you.